


i'll be home for christmas

by scftsun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alone on Christmas, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animals, Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Multi, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scftsun/pseuds/scftsun
Summary: In which Jisung finds himself alone during the winter holidays and the emptiness of his flat- despite having two rowdy pets run around, gets too unbearable and he does what anyone would do in that situation- he reminisces and cries.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Kudos: 39





	i'll be home for christmas

Song bells ringing, carolers singing, fairy lights glimmering and white snow falling. It was that time of the year once more yet Jisung doesn't feel it. Maybe it's because he had been given a break much earlier than his co-workers or maybe it's the fact that his family isn't coming up for the holiday. Maybe not. Maybe it's the fact that he isn't in the company of not one but two of his lovers.

Jaemin had plans to come back home for Christmas but he got asked to stay by his family. Renjun, on the other hand, was tied down to his work and got asked to work on Christmas day. Which leaves Jisung, for the first time ever, alone for Christmas.

He exhales out creating a trail of smoky air manifesting before him. With watery eyes, he looks up at the moon and stars and silently hopes that wherever his two best friends are, that they are safe and healthy. Jisung pulls up his woollen scarf and walks in the cold winter's night with freezing hands that miss the warmth of each of his boyfriends' grasp.

As he opens the door to their shared flat, empty of laughter and playful banter, Jisung could feel the coldness of the winter air a little harsher. He takes a big breath before bending down to change his shoes from his outdoor boots to comfortable fluffy slippers Jaemin sent to him for his birthday.

Jisung could clearly remember it as if it was just yesterday.

✰✰✰

"So, could you explain as to why there's a pair of pink bunny slippers staring back at me?" Jisung adjusted the phone to his other ear as he rummaged through the box trying to find a letter or a note explaining the meaning of the gift.

The sound of the television on the background was overpowering Jaemin's voice causing Jisung to pull a face, "oh, sorry one sec!" Jaemin yells to the screen before hopping out of frame.

Jaemin's feet being dragged across the glassy tiles was the first thing Jisung hears before Jaemin's face comes back into the screen, "it's Jaemin's way of saying that you need another reminder of his puffed cheeks," Renjun interjects before he fills his own cheeks with salad.

"Do you not like it Jisungie?" Jaemin asks carefully, pulling that soft stare Jisung finds extremely endearing. "No! I do! It's just-" 

Renjun cuts Jisung off, "it's just that you've sent at least four stuffed bunnies to Ji in the past three months and he just wants to know your obsession with them," he points out as Jisung slightly sinks on his seat.

"Because I'm a bunny! Do you not see it?" Renjun cringes at Jaemin's high-pitched voice, "please stop, you know that doesn't work on us," the former flatly comments causing Jaemin to pout. 

Jaemin crosses his arms, "it works on Jisungie! Don't clump him with your stinky ass!" Renjun rolls his eyes, "you're just jealous because I only sent you two!" Jaemin sticks his tongue out causing Renjun to gasp comically.

Before Renjun could say anything in response, Jaemin leaves the call, leaving behind a very confused Jisung and an exasperated Renjun.

The latter sighs and meets eyes with Jisung, "don't mind him, he's just a bit tilted because the file he was supposed to send was corrupted so he got the heat from one of the professors," he explains.

✰✰✰

After that Renjun elaborates on a possible meaning behind Jaemin's obsession of fluffy bunnies. Since then, Jisung had ingrained it in his brain to be more appreciative of the stuffed bunnies Jaemin would send as they were only a form of his outlet and an indirect reassurance to Jisung that he would see Jaemin soon.

Jisung drags his feet further into their apartment. He crashes on the couch with his face buried into the pile of throw pillows- in courtesy of Renjun's obsession with throw pillows. A few minutes later, two bells jingle their way to Jisung's unmoving body.

He feels light steps jump onto the couch and crawl its way on his back, followed by a few wet licks on his elbow. A smile crawls on Jisung's face as he stifles a chuckle. He turns his head to face out the being that licked him. Jisung tries his best to stifle his smile, attempting to keep a straight face.

"So where were you guys earlier when I was sad and tired huh?" Jisung jokingly asks the cloud-like dog with a tail wagging back and forth, that smiles at him. At that moment, the light creature on his back crawls closer to his face, eventually falling into the gap between his arm and face.

Beige short fur fills his vision, with the feline smouldering Jisung's face with affection, "okay, okay! No more acting!" He sits up pulling the cat on his lap, stroking its back. He makes eye-contact with the fluffy dog before he pats the spot next to him telling the dog to sit by side.

Not long after, the white-furred dog jumps up and cuddles his side. "Sorry was I out for too long?" he doesn't wait for a response, instead he sniffs the air, trying to trace the scent, only for it to trace back to his furry friend.

"Min! You smell so bad!" Jisung shrieks, "ah, I should've given you a bath yesterday," he sighs to himself and pauses. Sometimes, moments like these get Jisung wondering of what it would be like if Renjun didn't get transferred.

A few years back when Renjun found out he had to move to a country on the other side of the world, he gave Jisung the idea to adopt a fluffy company so he wouldn't be lonely. Something about having the same amount of living beings in the apartment so the emptiness isn't as visible.

✰✰✰

Jisung raises an eyebrow, "Really? You think getting not just one, but two pets while BOTH of you and Jaemiin are away, is a good idea?" He crosses his arms.

"Why not? It'll be fun! You won't even notice Jaem and I are away!" Renjun replies without making eye-contact. "Easy for you to say! You're not the one that has to take care of two other beings other than yourself!" Jisung whines.

Renjun turns to him with a deadpan expression, "really?" he asks, "you're telling ME, that I don't know anything about taking care of two other living beings other than myself?" his left eyebrow raises on its own, "me? Huang Renjun?" he emphasises.

The younger sighs, "okay, okay, fine! Maybe that wasn't a good argument! I get it!" his eyes dart away, "but maybe you should consider the fact that it's not even the fact that it's taking care of two other beings," he shrinks in his seat. Jisung loses confidence in his words and mumbles, "maybe it's exactly the fact that it's the two of you gone."

"What was that?" Renjun turns to him, "ah, nothing," Jisung murmurs.

In the end, Jisung agreed to get one pet, maybe it was his fault for not explicitly stating what pet to adopt as Renjun called him before he boarded his plane.

"Go have a look in our bedroom! I got you a surprise," Renjun beams to which Jisung groans, "this better not be another 'I have a surprise for you- it's Chenle!' kind of surprise."

Renjun laughs, "no, trust me! Just go look!" he persists. Jisung turns the handle of the door and something soft and furry moves in between his legs immediately causing him to freeze in place.

With a shaky breath and darting eyes, Jisung's voice breaks, "Renjun..." he hesitates, "what... what the heck is this surprise exactly?" his chin trembles and with a hushed voice he whispers, "and why on Earth is it moving between my legs?"

The connection goes unstable for a bit leaving Jisung silently cursing his boyfriend. As the signal returns, an adorable Renjun comes back on the screen, "hello? Ji? Can you hear me?"

Somehow the mere sound of Renjun's voice is enough to calm down Jisung's racing heart. He swallows nothing and replies, "yeah," he bites his bottom lip before he hesitantly asks once more, "Jun? What exactly did you get me?"

As if some comedic turn of events, the connection drops once more only this time it causes the call to drop as well. Renjun never got to verbally answer Jisung, instead, the only thing Jisung got from Renjun that afternoon was a sweet text, reading:

> Hey, I'm boarding now, I'll call you and Jaem when I land. I love you both so much. I can't wait to see your stupid faces again. - RJ 🤍

And so Jisung had to get the answer by himself, he shuts his eyes close and mentally cheers himself on, "it's fine Ji, Renjun wouldn't get you anything that could kill you," he murmurs to himself. A split second later, he opens his eyes aggressively, "or would he?!" he yells aloud and looks down.

That's when it hit him that he never told Renjun he had already adopted a doe-eyed kitten from the shelter two weeks ago. Renjun, being the sweet boyfriend he is, assumed that Jisung has yet to make the adoption himself, and got him a pet.

That is the story of how Jisung, refusing to take care of two pets, ended up with a pair of rowdy friends.

✰✰✰

After giving Min the long-deserved bath he deserved, Jisung made sure to feed him and Oreo. At that point, he had already been exhausted from taking care of the two he didn't even have the energy to make his own food- let alone get up. So he stays here.

He stays on his bed, head full of thoughts and worries. He stays there as the cars outside his flat race by. He stays there as people spend this night with their loved ones, warm and laughing. He stays there, still with his eyes closed and allows himself to feel the crushing sensation of loneliness. 

The boulder-like feeling of seldomness and the gut-wrenching pain that digs deep down his stomach. There's nothing to do, nowhere to hide and no one to hold. Jisung lies there on his stomach with the bed under him and the world on his back as he silently weeps for the warmth and embrace of his loved ones. But all there is to accompany him on this lonely winter's night is the howling wind and blinking lights of his neighbour's Christmas decorations. 

Sometimes the deafening silence is the loudest noise one could ever hear. It's suffocating and there's no way of stopping it. And so Jisung accepts it. He lets the loneliness take over and as a small warm tear trail drops down on his bedsheet, he exhales a shaky breath before letting himself get lost in the darkness of his brain. 

  
✰

Jisung wakes up to a throbbing headache like no other. Somehow his heart was palpitating like crazy. He doesn't remember his dream- that is if he even had one. Jisung doesn't dare to open his eyes just yet though. He stays lying down, awake yet eyes closed. He hoped that his loneliness would've dissolved alongside the evening and the moon, yet the aching of his heart stays.

His staggering breadth and trembling chin hide under the sheets caught in the middle of his pillow and blanket. Jisung grips hard on the ivory sheets tightly just like the squeezing affliction on his heart. He hates feeling like this but what can he do? It's not like he can change what he feels with a snap of a finger and as nice as that sounds, it doesn't sound ideal to Jisung.

Eyes shut and unmoving, Jisung stays. His phone buzzes once, twice and a few more times yet he still stays frozen in place. His headache continues to pound, it stops momentarily before it turns into a piercing pain. Jisung groans aloud, grabbing the attention of his two companions. Oreo enters the room whining and Min trails him.

Min stays on the floor staring up at Jisung's stationary body, while Oreo circles Jisung's back, whining- probably from thirst. With a long sigh, Jisung moves back and stretches his arms forward. He stays stretched out like that for a few seconds before sliding off of the bed with his blanket wrapped over his head. Jisung shuffles to the kitchen, immediately filling the water bowl of both pets.

He heats some water for some hot cocoa. He was never a coffee person like Jaemin but he also never had the tongue for the taste of tea, unlike Renjun. Which is why Jisung sticks to hot cocoa. Sleepily, Jisung shuffles to the lounge with his hot cocoa on one hand and a raggedy bunny Jaemin gave him for their anniversary two years ago.

Immediately reaching for the remote, Jisung switches on Netflix and scrolls through the curated shows and movies for him. Renjun pays for the account but he's the only one who doesn't have an account. As for the reason, ask the other three couples they're sharing with.

Originally, Renjun, Jaemin and Jisung had individual accounts, but because Donghyuck is... well Donghyuck, he got the password off of the notes app on Jaemin's phone and made an account for him and Jeno. On a different day, Chenle somehow got his hands on the account as well and made an account for him and Mark. Abusing the fact that Renjun wouldn't dare to say no to Mark. If only he didn't come as a package deal with Chenle.

At that point, the Netflix account was already full but because Renjun is... well Renjun, he got competitive one time with Sungchan and ended up betting his Netflix account thinking that Jaemin wouldn't bleach his hair simply because Jisung mentioned it once in a conversation. To everyone's- read Renjun's surprise, Jaemin rocked up to Jisung's birthday party with bleached hair parted in the middle and a comfortable grey sweater, ready for blood. Which left Renjun to share an account with Jisung as they had the most similar interest when it came to movies and series.

Jisung scrolls through the selection of choices he has, only for him to be recommended content based on the content Renjun watched. Unwanted emotions surge and Jisung switches the television off and turns on music instead.

The entire day consisted of him wasting his time walking around, trying to keep himself busy. Cleaning, eating, dancing, he did it all yet nothing could distract him from the void in his chest. Feeling empty and cold, Jisung heads back to his room but before he could turn the doorknob open he turns to look at the master bedroom where the three of them would sleep during the holidays.

Without realising it, Jisung's feet walk their way to the master bedroom and take him before the bed, where his knees lose strength and his body crashes down. The scent of Jaemin fills his nose as he smells the sheets that were washed specifically by the fabric softener Jaemin had grown up to use.

The tears on Jisung's eyes had begun to build-up; it didn't take long before the room would be filled with sobs and whining.

"I miss you two so much," Jisung's voice breaks slightly as he whispers to the empty room. At that moment, Oreo jumps up on the bed and snuggles next to the weeping boy.

Jisung closes his eyes gently as the sobs continue to spew out of his mouth, he cries and grows quieter until he is weeping silently. He curls into a ball, hugging Oreo close to his chest before he drifts to a different state of consciousness.

He dreams of their previous Christmases. He dreams of a Christmas they could've had. He dreams of the two boys that give him happiness. He dreams of how he would hold both Jaemin and Renjun's hand close to his chest. How he would plant a kiss on each hand before they fell into their slumber.

Jisung opens his eyes and finds a hand on each hand. He turns to his left and finds a sleeping Jaemin and to his right a resting Renjun. He feels happy but a part of him broke.

_ This is it. _

He doesn't want to wake up. Jisung closes his eyes and holds both of his hands close to his chest as it heaves up. Trembling chin and staggering breadth, Jisung whispers, "I don't want to wake up," as a tear rolls down to his right temple.

He feels both hands let go, "Ji?" Jaemin's voice gravelly, still broken from resting for so long, "what's wrong bub?" Jisung breaks from the mere question.

His brows furrowed and his lips curled down, "I miss you two so much. I wish you two were here with me," he cries, "I don't want to wake up, I just want to stay in this dream," he whispers, "I want to stay by both of your sides."

Behind Jisung, the sheets ruffle and he feels a hand reach to his shoulder, "but you're okay," Renjun whispers, "we're here," he runs his free hand through Jisung's hair.

"No you're not," Jisung sobs, "I wish you were though," he sniffs, "I'd tell you how much I have missed you and that I love you two so so much," he rests his head on Renjun's arm.

He feels Jaemin's hand travel to his waist pulling him closer, "we are here," Jaemin whispers near Jisung's ear, "we're here and we're here to tell you how much we've missed you and that we both love you," he murmurs before planting a kiss on Jisung's forehead. Although his chest still feels tight, Jisung allows himself to drift consciousness once more.

The sun's rays cut through the gap between the velvet curtains. Fine dust flies around as Jisung's consciousness comes and goes. He breathes soundly and deep, his eyes open ever so slight and close. A grip on his waist readjusts and Jisung's soul comes back down to his body to prepare him to whip his head down. On his chest is a raven-haired boy, soundly sleeping.

Instinctively, Jisung moves back only to fall into the arms of another person. Eyes wide and huffing chest, Jisung's eyes dart around trying to comprehend what is around him- more like who is around him.

Jisung tries his best to carefully move the boy off of his chest and just when he thinks he's gotten him off a husky voice manifests, "you wanna get rid of me that badly?" Jisung could feel his heart break and rebuild itself from the sound of that voice.

The boy lifts his head up and meets eyes with Jisung, "I thought you said you missed us?" A pair of familiar chocolate eyes fix on Jisung's shaky stare.

With a hushed voice, Jisung whispers a small, "Jaemin?" unsure if he said the boy's name aloud, he would disappear.

But he doesn't.

Instead, Jaemin smiles lazily and mumbles a "good morning bub," a ripple of joy streaks across Jisung's chest as he jumps on Jaemin embracing the older.

Jaemin loops his arm around Jisung's waist, "You're real?" Jisung cries causing the former to chuckle, "as real as real can get," he reassures Jisung before planting a kiss on his cheek.

The two of them stay like that for a while before Jaemin loosens his grip of Jisung's waist, allowing him to roll to his side to see Renjun in his sleep. To his liking, he finds a boy deep in slumber, chest rising and falling.

Jisung moves closer to pull Renjun into his embrace, only for him to be the one pulled into Renjun's arms, "Merry Christmas our prince," Renjun opens his eyes and smiles making Jisung's chest swell with joy.

"But I thought-" Jisung's words get hushed by a smiling Jaemin, "mum found out that you were gonna be spending Christmas alone so she got me the earliest flight up here," he chimes. Jisung attention gets pulled back to the man in front of him, "and I worked my butt off all week so I could fly back as soon as possible," Renjun explains carefully tucking Jisung's hair behind his ear.

Jaemin giggles, "did you really think we would just stay put where we were and spend a Christmas without you?" somehow making Jisung blush. Renjun coos at how adorable his partner was. 

Jisung doesn't ask anything else. No one utters another word, instead, they stay there lying next to each other, letting all three of them share the warmth of their bodies as it snows outside.

Maybe Jisung's mum was right. All he needed was to pray hard enough and God would answer his wish. 


End file.
